Who’s on Your Open Space?
Working in an office is an endless adventure. Every day is a new battle for the coffee machine, searching for a quiet place to work (spoiler: you won’t find one), and avoiding the traps of random hallway conversations. But nothing influences office life more than the people! Here are 10 types of coworkers you’re bound to meet in an open space:
- The Perpetually Late One
They say, “The train was late,” but no one remembers them ever arriving on time. Their middle name is “just five more minutes” – unfortunately, that number keeps increasing. Strangely, when they have plans for drinks after work, they’re always the first to show up. - The Excuse Expert
They never manage to finish anything on time but always have a fascinating story about why. Either the internet went down, the cat knocked over the laptop, or Mercury is in retrograde. Oddly enough, they always have time for long discussions about their lack of time. - The Office DJ
They come to work and immediately take over the office speakers. Their playlists are a bizarre mix of techno, sea shanties, and “work music” (which means completely random hits from the ’90s). If you hear Darude – Sandstorm at 8:30 AM, you know who’s responsible. - The Missing in Action
They were at a meeting, and then… gone. Apparently, they are “working remotely,” but their Teams status tells a different story. They’re probably in a café or on the other side of town. When you need to find them, suddenly, no one knows what department they belong to. - The Small Talk King
Their superpower is starting a conversation about the weather and stretching it to 45 minutes. They know who was sick, who’s getting a new car, and what’s new at their neighbor’s cat daycare. During company meetings, they always say, “I don’t want to take too much time…” and then proceed to take too much time. - The Email Maestro
Every email they write is a literary masterpiece. Three paragraphs, a quote from Einstein, and 17 people in CC – even if the topic is about ordering a new pen. Their favorite phrases include “following up on my previous email” and “please provide an urgent response by the end of the week.” - The Fitness Freak
They start their day with a kale smoothie blended with a mysterious mix of superfoods. During breaks, they do squats at their desk, incorporating dynamic stretching and a short yoga session. For lunch, they bring a quinoa salad prepared the night before, following the latest paleo-keto-vegan principles. Their favorite topic is “how many steps we should take daily,” but if you give them a moment, they’ll convince you to try interval training, intermittent fasting, and cold showers. Of course, they wear a smartwatch that tracks their every move and reminds you hourly that you should stand up and stretch. They even bike to work in the middle of a snowstorm. - The Silent Ninja
You’ve sat next to them for a year, yet you still don’t know what their voice sounds like. No one has ever seen them drink coffee, take a lunch break, or maybe even breathe. Some suspect they’re a hologram. They mysteriously appear only when a crucial document needs signing. - The Office Mom/Dad
They always have a first aid kit, spare pens, and know the coffee machine manual by heart. If something breaks – they fix it. They probably even baked a cake for someone’s birthday, even if they don’t know the person. They regularly remind everyone that the end of the month is approaching and reports need to be completed. - The Overly Energetic One
They burst into the office at 8:00 AM with a smile like they just won the lottery. Their wallpaper is a motivational quote, and they say, “It’s going to be a great day!” The rest of the team eyes them suspiciously, wondering if they are human or an android. They’re the only person who actually uses the company’s stress management webinars.
Bonus!
- The Corporate Lingo Enthusiast
They love spreadsheets, presentations, and corporate acronyms. They know all the KPIs, SLAs, and OKRs by heart. Their favorite hobby is assigning new tasks in Asana and sending out Excel reports. They can speak for 10 minutes without using a single normal word.
And you? Which type are you? Or maybe your office has someone who deserves their own category? 😄
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